Finding Calm in the Chaos of Motherhood

There are days when motherhood feels like having a hundred tabs open at once.

Someone needs feeding. Someone needs finding. Someone has lost a shoe. The puppy is chewing something you don't recognise. The washing is somehow both clean and dirty at the same time. There are crumbs in places crumbs should never get. You finally make yourself a cup of tea, and by the time you remember you did , it has gone cold. And in the middle of it all, there is you.

The woman doing the remembering. The holding. The organising. The soothing. The tidying. The trying.

The chaos of motherhood can be loud. It can also be beautiful, funny. But it is always, relentless and you may find, sometimes, underneath all the noise, there is a quiet voice inside you whispering: “Where did I go?”

I think many mums know that feeling. Not because they are ungrateful and not because they don't love their crazy life. And while it may cross their mind on occasion, they don't really want to buy a camper van and run away from it all. It's not that. It's because motherhood can take so much of us.

It takes our bodies, our minds, our sleep, our patience, our softness, our sex lives, our planning, our memory, our emotional energy and our ability to somehow know where we put the dog poop bags.

And while we are busy caring for everyone else, we are easy to lose.

But calm does not have to look perfect

When we think of calm, we often imagine something that is unrealistic. A silent house. A kitchen that cleans itself. A long bath without anyone knocking on the door. A candlelit yoga session. A version of ourselves who is rested, glowing, patient and never irritated by a full laundry basket.

But real-life calm is different.

Real-life calm might be three deep breaths in the bathroom.

It might be opening a window and letting fresh air into the kitchen.

It might be stretching your shoulders while the kettle boils.

It might be sitting on the stairs for two minutes before answering the next “Muuuum?”

It might be a dog walk, a quiet cup of tea, a hand on your heart, or choosing not to tidy one more thing before you sit down.

Calm does not always arrive as a whole afternoon to yourself.

Sometimes calm has to be found in tiny pockets.

And those tiny pockets count.

What I eventually created was a morning routine that starts before everyone wakes up. I'm a real early bird and some mornings that might be at 4:30 am - you know how delicious an uninterrupted cup of tea is at that time in the morning? It's the best you've ever tasted because you have time to enjoy it - just don't let the chickens sense you. After that, I stick the dogs in the car, head to the beach and walk. This is not only exercise and doggy care, this is feeding my soul - filling it up for the day ahead. By the time I get home I've got a full tank of premium.

A word on the nervous system

I can tell you, it needs safety not protection because, we mums, often live in a state of constant alertness.

We're listening for cries, arguments, messages, timers, the washing machine finishing, the dog barking, the child calling, the next thing that needs our attention. And even when nothing is technically wrong, our bodies feel in a state of readiness. Just waiting on the next demand. That is why small resets matter.

Not because they magically fix everything. But because they tell the body: “You are safe for this moment.”

A slow breath tells your body it can soften. A gentle stretch tells your body it is allowed to release. A quiet drink of water tells your body it is being cared for. A simple journal prompt gives your mind somewhere to put the thoughts it has been carrying.

These things may seem small, but they are not nothing. They are how we begin to come back to ourselves.

If you're ready for a bit of calm, grab my 7-day mum reset, it's totally free and sent with love.

Chat soon, love you, bye x